The Labyrinth Story: Epilogue
It feels as if I still have part of me on the other side of the River Styx after the near- death experiences and heart attack, and that there is a wind from the Underworld that whistles through the wound and drives the stonework to bring me down to earth while creating a portal to the Unconscious.”
The paradox is that if I hadn’t had a massive heart attack that rendered half my heart non-functional I never would have engaged in the stone projects, and now I can’t imagine my life without it.
I had all the signs of heart blockage twenty years ago, was misdiagnosed in Anchorage, and was saved by flying immediately to San Francisco for emergency surgery on the advice and support of a doctor friend there. I was so shocked by this close encounter with death that I intuitively understood that I had to build a stone cave to crawl into and recover from my wounds
A year later, I had a second stent in Anchorage, where an artery was nicked in the process, resulting in a high fever and excruciating pain. I was overdosed with opiates for the pain and went into cardiac arrest. This was a bit shocking to the soul.
Another year later, I had a third stent in San Francisco, walked the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral, and understood that I had to build a Chartres type stone labyrinth.
Two years later, I had the massive heart attack that left 1/3 of my heart walls not moving, and 1/3 of the heart walls only partially functional. During and after a severe depression, I did a lot of drawing that turned into an art show and book. After struggling for two years with the depression and anxiety and severe arrhythmias, I felt driven to build a cabin and sanctuary to retreat to and heal in.
That heart attack was almost exactly sixteen years ago.
I understand now that on one level the stonework was a way to rebuild my heart and to stay healthy. I am sure I would not have survived without the intense and daily exercise.
On another level, the stonework is a correlate for what is happening inside my physical and psychological system: building the stone walls is a correspondence to repairing the damaged walls of my heart; putting together fractured stones is a way of putting together a fractured psyche.
And on still yet another level, the stonework and labyrinth also provide a sense of meaning and a spiritual direction.
It feels as if I still have part of me on the other side of the River Styx after the near- death experiences and heart attack, and that there is a wind from the Underworld that whistles through the wound and drives the stonework to bring me down to earth while creating a portal to the Unconscious.
(The photo at the top is an image of work done about three years ago, a tribute to a vulnerable heart); the photos below are of the stone cave and the first labyrinth.)
